Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner and Philip Winchester

Firstly, ya'll are funny.

Secondly, this contest was difficult to judge. Partly because ya'll are so funny, and partly because Yazoo doesn't really smile very much even when things are funny. The only person he ever really smiles for is Lu, and even then it's usually smiling AT Lu, not WITH Lu, because chances are she's done something that has inadvertently made everyone smile in a my-god-is-she-really-THAT-ditzy way.

Yazoo: But don't call her ditzy. She doesn't like that.

I am very much aware of that. Remember the great story-halt of '08? I know not to mess with her. Too often.

Yazoo: So, I suppose you'd like me to pick a winner?

That would go nicely with the blog post title, yes.

Yazoo: What were the entries again?

All the entries or just the finalists?

Yazoo: The finalists. Lu's dragging me to some ball thing later tomorrow. I need time to hide.

All righty then, the finalists, as chosen by the fact that they actually made Yazoo chuckle a bit:

Adam Heine's unfortunate situation for Peat: Being the guy who relays the captain's orders to the crew.

Cap'n: Storm's coming. All hands, batten the hatches!
Peat: All hands, storm the hatches!
Cap'n: Don't fire at 'em 'til you see the whites of their eyes!
Peat: Fire at the whites of their eyes!

Yazoo: It only made me chuckle because it HAPPENED. You try being stuck in the middle of a river-fight with CTD officers on every side and crocpeople tearing holes in your hull. Then add a crew member who likes to repeat your orders LOUDLY and INCORRECTLY, and suddenly a simple command like "Fire all! Keep them away from the hull!" becomes "Keep them all from the fire!" Luckily the rest of my crew has learned how to semi-interpret Peat's disjointed shouts.

Okay, so still just chuckle-worthy on that one?

Yazoo: Only if you can find something funny about crocpeople ripping my hull apart. Dam river beasties...

Next finalist:

Renee's very thought-provoking statement: "I wonder what happened when poor young Peat got the "birds and the bees" talk."

Yazoo: Again, it's only funny because it HAPPENED. I'd explain, but the conversation isn't exactly blog-appropriate. Suffice to say one of Peat's favorite phrases to find in other people's conversations is now "Let me go down your dock!" We had to use a lot of river-analogies...

So you admit that Renee's entry was funny? Is that a smile I see?

Yazoo: Only for you, Ren.
(again, a little imagination is needed. Eye patch. Right eye.)

Yay, Renee!! Shoot my your address at seesarawrite(at)gmail.com and I'll get your very own hand-crafted notebook out to you ASAP!

On a completely unrelated note, I have a new life dream. Want to hear it?

Well, I look through a lot of pictures of Philip Winchester. Er, that sounds stalkerish. I look at a completely normal, non-obsessive amount of pictures of Philip Winchester. Every time I see that man I get all bubbly-excited and go "Yazoo! It's Yazoo!" at which point Lu gets really confused because her Yazoo is missing his right eye.

So I've decided that my life dream is to get Philip Winchester to take a picture with an eye patch on his right eye. (See The Lofty Philip Winchester Wish in the sidebar)

A lofty dream? Yes. But I figure if my lowly blog can get onto Google when you search his name (I've been bumped down to the FOURTH PAGE! Infidels!), then maybe if he Googles himself (who doesn't Google themselves?) he'll see my lowly blog, and my lofty dream, and email me a photo of himself with an eye patch on his right eye.

Hey, laugh all you want. But when I post that picture of Philip Winchester with his eye patch, you'll be sorry you chuckled.

Though you probably won't be sorry you get to look at Philip Winchester. I mean, who could ever be sorry they looked at this?

Or this?
Okay, this IS bordering on stalkerish now. Stay tuned for another post sometime Saturday afternoon. I promise it will be less-stalkerish, and more about contests and one last super-awesome Stream Pirate ISPAW surprise.