Repetitive Redundancies. And Philip Winchester.

I fear doing any kind of blog post now will be a repeat of yesterday's and the day before. Editing. Woe. Tragedy. Eyesight loss. Been there, done that, aye?

I considered doing a Q&A session again, as it's been a few weeks since I did one, but I feel that would be too easy of an out. Instead, for being such loyal reader people through my days of editing FIENDISH-ness, I shall stage a Q&A about YOU! People who stick around through incoherent posts and whining about an editing-induced lack of nutrients must be some seriously awesome people. And I want to know more about seriously awesome people.

So here are some questions. Answer whichever ones you feel compelled to answer. While I wait for your super awesome responses, I'll be over there. Editing. Still. And oh yeah, studying for finals and stuff. Not like that's important.

1) Pirates or Ninjas? I had to ask. My position is obvious (though Ninjas are undeniably AWESOME too).

2) Outline or no outline? I think I've asked something similar before. It's still interesting to see the divide.

3) An army of penguins is heading your way. You have an ice cannon, a well-fortified refrigerator, and an ice cream truck. How do you fight them off?

4) Will you see the New Moon movie? I plan on seeing it. Don't judge.

5) Why do you think most dog treats consist of the same ingredients as human cookies? Why wouldn't we just give our dogs human cookies instead of making specialized "dog cookies" if they're exactly the same? One of the great quandaries of our time.

6) You're on an island. A desert island. You can choose one character from any novel/work of literature to be with you on that island. Choice?

And here's something gawk at:

That's my beloved Philip Winchester and his Crusoe co-star Tongayi Chirisa. And you thought Philip Winchester was the only pretty person in Crusoe. That show's a one-two punch, my friends.

Burnt Like a Piece of Toast

Editing-burn-out hit me hard yesterday, my friends. I was going strong. 2.5 days of editing straight. I thought I could press on to the end. And everything was peachy.

Until about 4PM yesterday afternoon. Right smack dab, of course, in the middle of my archaeology class. At that point, I realized two things. Firstly, archaeology just isn't interesting when your eyes are so fuzzled from staring at a laptop that you can't see the projector screen at the front of the classroom. Secondly, I hadn't eaten anything since 10AM that morning. Left over Chinese food and Mint Truffle Hershey Kisses just don't satisfy one's appetite all day.

So don't expect a super snappy blog post (I'm still suffering editing-hangover). The title is as snappy as I plan on getting. In fact, I'm going to steal snappy things from other people.

First stolen snap: My beloved cousin received a good bout of my editing-burn-out complaining yesterday and redirected me to Libba Bray's post: Writing a Novel, a Love Story. Not only do I love Libba Bray to pieces, but re-reading that post gave me a new burst of hope. It's okay to hate my novel with the fire of a thousand toasters (gotta keep the toast analogy going). I'd say I'm somehwere between The Revision, On Deadline and The Revision, Near the End. Though I'm not on a deadline (yet. *gulp*). I'm caught in that weird limbo of OHMYGODIHATEYOUIHATEYOU and When I'm not Working on You, You're Actually Quite Pretty. I did make one revision today that I liked. One. Out of how many? *whimpers*

Second stolen snap: Last night I had the immense pleasure of attending a NaNoWriMo Write-In (they didn't throw me out for doing NaNoRevisMo! Yay!) where I got to chat it up writing-style with Dara Sorensen over at Tales From the Writing Front. For a long time it felt like all my writer people were way out west. I was quite lonely, here in my corniness. But then I found out Dara was not only in the same area of the corn belt as me but was also doing NaNo (back when I was, ahem, doing NaNo), and I got really excited. Yay, Eastern Cornbelt Writers! Woot woot!

AND as if she wasn't awesome enough, she nominated me for a blog award! If my brain wasn't so fuzzled (I already used the word "fuzzled" to describe myself, didn't I?), I would nominate people, but I fear my nominating judgement is clouded.

(And I just realized that other people have nominated me for blog awards in the past too...and I think I may have forgotten to acknowledge how warm and fuzzy that made me feel! Fuzzy, mind you, not fuzzled. Big difference. But my brain fuzzled-ness is preventing me from remembering if I acknowledged the other blog awards...if I didn't, YOU GUYS ROCK!! If I did, well, YOU GUYS STILL ROCK!!)

To sum up: Libba Bray is a goddess, Dara Sorensen is super fun and totally the kind of big sis I would want (the write-offs she has with her sister are INTENSE, ya'll; if I could get my little sis to WRITE, let alone have a write-off with me, I think the world would implode), and leaving your brain in the toaster for too long makes it way too crispy. And crispy brains make for poor judgement calls. Like eating half a bag of Mint Truffle Hershey Kisses. Ow.

NaNo No Mo

That was supposed to be all slang-like for "no more." I think I spelled it wrong. Oh well; I never claimed to be "down with it."

Some of you may have noticed the disappearance of my NaNo sidebar thingamajig. Yes, this means what you think it means: I have stopped doing NaNo.

Now listen! *ducks* Stop throwing red pens at me! I have a good reason!

I've been sucked back into the world of Stream Pirate. All your support during ISPAW helped with that, as did a few minor (*coughcoughNOTreallyminorcoughcough*) revelations. Thus I set aside my beloved Max (don't worry, dear Maxie; you will get your day) to partake instead of NaNoRevisMo.

And let me tell you, I am an editing FIEND. This is not a good thing.

See, when I edit, I get it into my head that I have to do it all NOW. Or ASAP. Thus I spend day after day hunched over my laptop until midnight at which point I sit up, stretch, and realize I haven't eaten since breakfast (my next book idea: The Editing Diet: How to Trim the Pounds While Trimming the Words). This is not healthy, for the obvious reasons. But it is also not healthy because NO ONE CAN EDIT A BOOK IN ONE SITTING.

(I capitalized that for my benefit.)

I guess I should specify: No one can edit a book WELL in one sitting. Whatever little voice in my head that thinks otherwise is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. And this is why, in timeline form:

10AM: This is GREAT! Wow, these changes are working so well. Everything's clicking! Like one of those 500 piece puzzles!

12PM: Gosh, it's already been two hours? I swear it should still be 10:30AM!

2:30PM: This is going so well. But -- I can't feel my legs.

4:00PM: I only looked away from my laptop for a second, but WOW. I don't remember outside being so bright.

5:00PM: What's that buzzing sound? Uhoh. Arm's asleep now.

6:30PM: But if I don't edit this to fit with that, I'll lose the mojo! One more paragraph!

8:00PM: Eyes. Burning. Can't. Stop. One more! One more page, I swear I'll stop after that!

10:00PM: Words. Floating. Why does my body hurt? OW! The moon is so BRIGHT! Make it stop, make it stop!

12:00AM: ...

(The "..." represents an inability to form coherent sentences. Because after 12+ hours of editing, all words, no matter how BRILLIANT, lose their meaning. You start saying things like "The puppy's bed is the room living in!" and you just CANNOT figure out why that sentence doesn't sound right. It's infuriating.)

So, take it from me. Edit in moderation.

If now excuse you'll me, I have to bed go.

Dear Fall Quarter,

It's me again. I know, long time no see, right? I guess that's mostly my fault. I did spend an awful lot of time with your cousins Winter and Spring Quarter. I even had a brief stint with Summer Quarter, but that didn't last long; he's much too short-tempered.

But here we are again. You and me. Me and You. Us and we. You were always my favorite, y'know? You came after such a nice, long break that I always felt ready to tackle anything you could throw at me. I was refreshed, rejuvenated. Nay; I was EAGER. Not to mention you take place during my favorite season. Watching all the leaves change on campus -- beautiful. Wearing cute little sweaters and scarves and boots -- comfy. Ah, Fall Quarter, we had some good times, you and I.

It is then with a heavy, um, fingers that I type this letter to you. I know your intentions were good. I know you only meant to entice me with your weekly papers, your brain-melting articles, your three-hour-long lectures. I know you only meant to shape me into a brighter, smarter student. Believe me, I get that. I really do. But this -- this just isn't working for me.

In the past, I was able to put my life on hold, so to speak, for you, Fall Quarter, and everyone else in your family. I was able to set aside my writing aspirations and social life in exchange for hours of studying and paper-writing and lecture-listening. Why the change, then? Why do I suddenly find myself merely glancing at lecture material the night before a test? Why do I suddenly find myself hastily scribbling down a 4-page paper the day it's due? Why do I suddenly find myself not at all caring what you think of me?

No, I'm really asking you. I was hoping you'd know. Did you get boring all of a sudden? I thought I saw some extra pounds sneak into those textbooks. You've stopped going to the on-campus gym, haven't you?

Never mind. It's over. I wash my hands of you, Fall Quarter. I have something better in my life now. I don't need YOU and YOUR time constraints and YOUR nagging and YOUR homework and YOUR paper-writing. I have my own stuff now, uh-huh. Yeah. And it's BETTER than you. I'm happy. Me and my story revisions? We're happy. They're the only deadlines I need.

Sorry I had to break this to you online. It hurts, I know. But hey, you totally embarrassed me when I had to read one of my horrifically and hurriedly written papers aloud. Payback is a b-touting witch, my friend.

Don't bother writing back. If you do have anything to say to me, say it through Winter Quarter. He was always so much better at buffering things than you.

Sincerely,
Sara

CONTESTS! AN ISPAW DRAWING! And Philip Winchester

Why, yes, I am going to put "And Philip Winchester" into my blog post titles until he sees my lofty dream (which I have labeled "The Lofty Philip Winchester Wish" in the sidebar). Why, no, there's nothing you can do about it. But why would you want to? Putting "And Philip Winchester" into my blog post titles requires me to also tack on pictures of Philip Winchester. Pictures like this:

It's a win-win situation.

On an un-Philip related note, there are a number of REALLY AWESOME contests floating through the blogosphere. Observe:

Lisa and Laura over at Lisa and Laura Write just got a book deal. With Sourcebooks. I know, right? It needs to be said twice: Lisa and Laura just got a BOOK DEAL WITH SOURCEBOOKS.

Let that sink in.

Once that has thoroughly sunken, check out their FREAKISHLY AWESOME GIVEAWAY.

They're giving away a KINDLE.

Now, I'm decidedly anti-this-whole-electronic-book-thing, mainly because I like my books to be paper. But it's a Kindle. For FREE. And just because one has a Kindle doesn't mean one has to give up buying "real" books, right? Right. So go enter. Now. Do it. And don't forget to congratulate the snot out of them.

The second SUPER AWESOME CONTEST is over at Frankie Writes. She's giving away an ARC of Fallen by Lauren Kate. ARC contests make me giggle, because there's something extra awesome about having an ARC. No one else has this book yet. It feels all secretive and uber-special, like you're part of some top-secret book-reviewing club.

Not to mention this book has a kick-butt book trailer.



Last but most certainly not least: Go to Natalie Whipple's blog. Now.

Do it. I'll wait.

La-di-da.

I KNOW right?! It's just-- and their embrace-- and Yazoo-- and WOW. I'm speechless. Speech.less. I mean, I knew Natalie was an amazing artist. But SEEING them like that is just -- wow. Needless to say, I'm giddy.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner and Philip Winchester

Firstly, ya'll are funny.

Secondly, this contest was difficult to judge. Partly because ya'll are so funny, and partly because Yazoo doesn't really smile very much even when things are funny. The only person he ever really smiles for is Lu, and even then it's usually smiling AT Lu, not WITH Lu, because chances are she's done something that has inadvertently made everyone smile in a my-god-is-she-really-THAT-ditzy way.

Yazoo: But don't call her ditzy. She doesn't like that.

I am very much aware of that. Remember the great story-halt of '08? I know not to mess with her. Too often.

Yazoo: So, I suppose you'd like me to pick a winner?

That would go nicely with the blog post title, yes.

Yazoo: What were the entries again?

All the entries or just the finalists?

Yazoo: The finalists. Lu's dragging me to some ball thing later tomorrow. I need time to hide.

All righty then, the finalists, as chosen by the fact that they actually made Yazoo chuckle a bit:

Adam Heine's unfortunate situation for Peat: Being the guy who relays the captain's orders to the crew.

Cap'n: Storm's coming. All hands, batten the hatches!
Peat: All hands, storm the hatches!
Cap'n: Don't fire at 'em 'til you see the whites of their eyes!
Peat: Fire at the whites of their eyes!

Yazoo: It only made me chuckle because it HAPPENED. You try being stuck in the middle of a river-fight with CTD officers on every side and crocpeople tearing holes in your hull. Then add a crew member who likes to repeat your orders LOUDLY and INCORRECTLY, and suddenly a simple command like "Fire all! Keep them away from the hull!" becomes "Keep them all from the fire!" Luckily the rest of my crew has learned how to semi-interpret Peat's disjointed shouts.

Okay, so still just chuckle-worthy on that one?

Yazoo: Only if you can find something funny about crocpeople ripping my hull apart. Dam river beasties...

Next finalist:

Renee's very thought-provoking statement: "I wonder what happened when poor young Peat got the "birds and the bees" talk."

Yazoo: Again, it's only funny because it HAPPENED. I'd explain, but the conversation isn't exactly blog-appropriate. Suffice to say one of Peat's favorite phrases to find in other people's conversations is now "Let me go down your dock!" We had to use a lot of river-analogies...

So you admit that Renee's entry was funny? Is that a smile I see?

Yazoo: Only for you, Ren.
(again, a little imagination is needed. Eye patch. Right eye.)

Yay, Renee!! Shoot my your address at seesarawrite(at)gmail.com and I'll get your very own hand-crafted notebook out to you ASAP!

On a completely unrelated note, I have a new life dream. Want to hear it?

Well, I look through a lot of pictures of Philip Winchester. Er, that sounds stalkerish. I look at a completely normal, non-obsessive amount of pictures of Philip Winchester. Every time I see that man I get all bubbly-excited and go "Yazoo! It's Yazoo!" at which point Lu gets really confused because her Yazoo is missing his right eye.

So I've decided that my life dream is to get Philip Winchester to take a picture with an eye patch on his right eye. (See The Lofty Philip Winchester Wish in the sidebar)

A lofty dream? Yes. But I figure if my lowly blog can get onto Google when you search his name (I've been bumped down to the FOURTH PAGE! Infidels!), then maybe if he Googles himself (who doesn't Google themselves?) he'll see my lowly blog, and my lofty dream, and email me a photo of himself with an eye patch on his right eye.

Hey, laugh all you want. But when I post that picture of Philip Winchester with his eye patch, you'll be sorry you chuckled.

Though you probably won't be sorry you get to look at Philip Winchester. I mean, who could ever be sorry they looked at this?

Or this?
Okay, this IS bordering on stalkerish now. Stay tuned for another post sometime Saturday afternoon. I promise it will be less-stalkerish, and more about contests and one last super-awesome Stream Pirate ISPAW surprise.

ISPAW Day 5!

So, this week's been pretty much fun. Got to hang with some pirates, reminisce over yesteryear, chat about books. What could possibly make this week any better?

Two things, actually.

Firstly, be sure to keep a careful eye on Natalie Whipple's blog tomorrow. I'll make mention of when said exciting post pops up, but until then...just, keep an eye on it. It's been known to do some awesome stuff.

Secondly, I composed a short video to cap off this week's festivities. As today (November 6th) is my dearly beloved Stream Pirate's actual birthday, I felt a special present for it was in store. Er, well, for Yazoo particularly. But he's who ya'll want to see anyway, right? Need I post that mock-up picture of Philip Winchester again?

BUT before I get to the special birthday video, I believe I have a WINNER to announce!

*drum roll*

The winner of their very own super awesome copy of Mythology by Edith Hamilton is commenter #8, Hayley! Yay, Hayley!! Shoot me your address and I'll get it in the post for ya!

Without further ado: a tribute to Yazoo Oxbow. (I used clips from my newly acquired Crusoe DVDs. Obviously, Crusoe is not missing his right eye; Yazoo is. So imagine Crusoe-playing-Yazoo with an eye patch on his right eye.)



Happy ISPAW, everyone! Thanks for making International Stream Pirate Appreciation Week a success :)

I'll be back tomorrow with the winner of the hand-crafted notebook as well as Nat-nat's super cool Stream Pirate surprise! There's still time to get your entries into the notebook contest; you have until Friday night at 8:43PM EST!