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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

It's Official

The contents of my Walmart shopping cart:

Tissues
Soap container
Hair color
3 Strawberry-Kiwi Vitamin Waters
3 Black Cherry Lime Vitamin Waters
3 Orange-Orange Vitamin Waters
1 Grape-Blueberry Vitamin Water
1 Raspberry-Apple Vitamin Water
1 Berry-Berry Vitamin Water
12 Nestle Water Bottles

Register: *beep* *beep* *beep*

Cashier: 12 Nestle Water Bottles?

Me: *digs out money*

Cashier: 12 Vitamin Waters?

Me: *digs faster*

Cashier: *pause* Thirsty?

Me: THEY WERE A DOLLAR EACH. I'M A WRITER.

Cashier: *stunned*

Me: *grabs Vitamin Waters*

Cashier: Writing dehydrates you?

Me: Yes. No. I MUST BUY THINGS.

Cashier: Okay. Thanks for shopping with us.

Me: Hey, at least it's healthier than chocolate. DON'T JUDGE ME.

Cashier: I wasn't--

Me: VITAMIN WATER -- Nothing unhealthy about any of that. Do you hear that, writing gods? YOUR WRITING-IMPOSED CONSUMPTION ADDICTIONS CANNOT TOUCH ME! I WIN!

Cashier: Who are you talking to--

Me: VICTORY! Vitamin Water Victory!

Cashier: Leave. Now.

Me: *skips away, or skips as much as possible under the weight of 12 Vitamin Waters and 12 Nestle Bottled Waters*

You know you're writing again when the addictions take hold.

I have to pee.

13 comments:

Natalie Whipple said...

I'm smiling. That is all.

ChristaCarol said...

I'm rolling off my chair and laughing my ass off. *hugs*

Jill Wheeler said...

Writers aren't crazy.

Not at all.

:D

Courtney Barr - The Southern Princess said...

oh so love this and so share your love of Vitamin Water!


Visit My Kingdom Anytime

Lisa_Gibson said...

Your posts always make me smile. Oftentimes, even laugh out loud. So funny!

inthewritemind said...

LOL!

My addiction is often ice cream related. Which is why there's a new pint of dutch chocolate ice cream in the freezer...

Neurotic Workaholic said...

This is a really funny post; thanks for making me laugh. I must admit, though, that my addiction is peanut M&Ms, and I do feel like the cashier is silently judging me when I buy them.

Adam Heine said...

Nice :-)

Dominique said...

Wow.
I don't know if anyone alive can understand just how much I wish I'd been there to see that play out.
Gotta love the vitamin water during the writing.

Nick said...

I thought Nestle just sold candy bars? Is their water chocolate flavored or something?

Donna Gambale said...

Is it bad that I feel left out that I don't have a writing addiction? Besides checking Texts From Last Night when I want to procrastinate and I've already read Postsecret...

ChristaCarol said...

PS, uz haz an award over me place. (not sure why I felt compelled to 'speak' like this)

Nishant said...

Your posts always make me smile
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