*rubs eyes* *squints* *rubs eyes again*
Um...where I am? It's so cold and damp and...bright.
*digs sunglasses out of purse because a lady always has sunglasses in her purse*
There, that's better.
Oh, I'm sorry, horribly rude of me. Introductions, yes. I'm Sara. And you are? Don't be shy now. We're all friends here. *shifty eyes* I think.
Oh! It's all coming back to me now. I used to blog here, or something, right? And -- what? I used to be witty and clever? Oh, you're too kind! Surely I wasn't THAT witty. Now, now, we MUST be friends. Or you must be trying to suck up for something. I can't tell. You're not just sucking up? Okay. I'll pretend I believe you.
But back to that apparent blogging thing -- what was that about?
*scrolls through past posts*
Man, I WAS witty. Downright hysterical, if I do say so. Well, you don't have to call me pompous! I was agreeing with what you just said! I KNEW you were only sucking up. Fiend. Fine, I'll just talk to my OTHER blog followers.
*turns to other blog followers*
Hi guys. Apparently it's also, like, 2010 or something? And apparently a lot of stuff has kind of happened, like books coming out and deals getting made. Garsh. I feel positively out of the loop. Might I trouble you all to fill me in? What have I missed?
While I await your news-giving, here is proof that I have been alive, if not blogging, in the past month.