I Love Writing These Posts

It's been over a month since my last blog post, so I'm not even going to PRETEND that I have any fantasies of going back to being a regular blogger. I AM SPONTANEOUS YOU CAN'T STOP ME.

Honestly though, I probably would have let my blogging absence continue, if not for this woman. This woman RIGHT HERE.

See, this is Renee Collins. Renee is one of the first Utah Writer Friends I made, and she is everything you could possibly want in a writer-friend -- spunky and snarky and truthful and supportive and able to say the hard things without crushing your soul. Plus, she writes the most fantastically creative books -- about magic mythological bones and Western worlds and wonderfully sassy girls.

And now, because the world finally realized that Renee Collins is synonymous with AMAZING, this happened:

*muppet flail so hard my arms fall off*

YOU ALL GET TO READ RELIC SOON, GUYS. And I cannot even BEGIN to describe how unbelievably breathtaking this book is. I mean, it's a MAGICAL WESTERN. Let that sink in. MAGICAL. WESTERN.

Renee, thank you for being one of those rare, wonderful people who lights up a room just by giggling. I am so, so thrilled that Maggie gets to tell her story to the world, and I cannot WAIT to publicize this so hard the world shakes. This book is beautiful, and so are you!

My Mad Flag Skills

In staying true to my declaration a few days ago that I would try to read more REAL LIVE BOOK THINGS, I finished Marissa Meyer's CINDER yesterday. Not only was I totally blown away by just how much Marissa made me re-fall-in-love-with the Cinderella fairy tale, but I remembered from the Salt Lake City branch of the Fierce Reads Tour that CINDER was the first of a four-book series. But, much to my dismay, the second book, SCARLET, is not due out til next year. NEXT YEAR. That, I felt, was totally unacceptable, so when I came across this:

http://www.marissameyer.com/blogtype/design-a-flag-contest-enter-to-win-an-annotated-scarlet-arc/

I sprang into action.

Normally, I am not the arts-and-crafts type. I am currently attempting a Paint by Numbers scene which is turning into some kind of multi-colored glob of cheap paint, and once upon a time I crocheted tiny creatures that now bravely guard Day Job desk from evil passersby. But trust me when I say both of those undertakings have been undertaken simply because I needed some other outlet. So I was a little hesitant at first to enter this contest, but I think I did rather decently.

I chose to make a flag for Marissa's American Republic and stuck true to the red, white, and blue colors that adorn many of the current North/South American countries. Without further ado, here is my entry:

The eight red stripes represent the eight territories formerly owned by other countries (such as all those wee islands France owns). The twenty-seven stars represent the twenty-seven countries that make up Marissa's American Republic. (If I miscounted countries, please turn a blind eye. It's been a long, long while since I had geography.)

How to Wait

1) Embark on a quest to learn a new trade. For instance, it has been suggested that the Paint By Numbers market is saturated with jobs to be had. Also, rumors have been circulating that the crochet industry is desperate for willing fingers proficient in the age-old art of magic circles.

2) Immerse yourself in the written word as a form of cathartic distraction. Written words can take many forms, whether they be in books, magazines, news articles, or even the occasional chuckle-inducing description on a bottle of Vitamin Water. It is perfectly acceptable to take a grocery store trip with the sole intention of building a Vitamin Water tower and spending a few hours in verbiage bliss as you frolic among the passages of wisdom bestowed on us by the gods of Vitamin Water.

3) Hurl yourself willy-nilly into a Day Job. If willy-nilly hurling is frowned upon at your Day Job, opt for a more subtle thrusting, a gentle tiptoeing, or even a quiet, unassuming spewing-forth.

4) Indulge your social senses by broadening your friend database. The definition of friend is, of course, all up to you -- friends are as pliable as written words and can take just as many forms. A person, a dog, a cat, a duck and even the occasional muddy puppy can serve as a solid foundation for a lasting friendship. Bottles of Vitamin Water, while useful for many things, are unfortunately not the best choice for a friend foundation due to their lack of muddy puppy droopy eyes.

5) In relation to #4 -- explore the ever-unexplored terrain of deep rooted mental philosophies. Your broadened friend database should serve as an excellent sounding board for any revolutionary ideas you unearth as you babble through such intense topics as why the Paint By Numbers industry bases its revenue on confining people to such tiny number spaces. Your new-found duck and muddy puppy friends are sure to offer their own valuable insight. Ironically enough, bottles of Vitamin Water offer a plethora of answers to deep rooted mental philosophies, yet are banned from the friend category due to their inability to look at you with big droopy muddy puppy eyes. A conundrum of life, and one you may feel free to discuss with your muddy puppy friend. 

6) If after all these attempts at distracting yourself from waiting you still want to scratch that unavoidable impatient itch, and the itch becomes so mightily unbearable that not even your muddy puppy friend or a particularly well-placed bottle of Vitamin Water can soothe you, you may play the Get Out Of Jail Free card. This card played in this situation equates to the action of checking one's email without any snide looks from passersby. Know, however, that you only get ONE such card each go around, and once you play said card you are opening yourself up to snide looks and derisive head-shakes from your muddy puppy friend. He judges you, you know. Each time you check your email after you play the Get Out Of Jail Free card, your muddy puppy friend knows. And he watches. And he stares. Keep the muddy puppy in mind before you play said card. You only get one chance.

In which I read things

Because, contrary to popular belief, I do still, in fact, read things. Lots of things. Like emails at Day Job and labels on potato chip bags (DEAR LAYS: STOP PUTTING SUNFLOWER OIL IN POTATO CHIPS kthanks) and subtitles in weird German movies that The Boyfriend brings home. That counts as reading. Right?

No, Sara. No it doesn't.

*hangs head in shame*

My excuse for not reading prior to about three weeks ago was that I was either A) busy working on Ghost Book edits or B) busy writing my YA fantasy WIP. And I could get away with being all "I can't be distracted from my awesomeness by other people's awesomeness or their awesomeness will override my awesomeness and I'll cry." But as of about three weeks ago, I have both finished edits on Ghost Book and finished the first draft of YA fantasy WIP. Which means I have NO EXCUSES now, so I am going to read REAL LIVE BOOK THINGS.

Thanks to JR Johansson and her willingness to be my own personal library, I scored the quite the hefty stack of YA awesomeness this weekend. Observe:

STRUCK by Jennifer Bosworth
CLARITY by Kim Harrington
SHIFTING by Bethany Wiggins
EVERNEATH by Brodi Ashton
CINDER by Marissa Meyer (this one comes to me courtesy of Amazon)

Thus I am embarking on Summer Reading Madness. Never mind that we're on that downswing of summer now.

What books are you going to/have you read this summer? Anything that should be added to my list?

The Nice List Book Donation

We are officially on the down slope to Christmas, folks, which means there are less than FIVE MONTHS LEFT to do all those crazy Christmas things like shopping, baking cookies, and getting in enough acts of kindness to make sure you're on The Nice List.

What's that, you say? You aren't sure if you have enough acts of kindness to make it on the Nice List this year? Well, even though I'm sure that's PREPOSTEROUS (*bats eyelashes* *clucks chin*), I happen to know of one really big, really amazing, really incredible act of kindness that could land you at the tippy top of the Nice List.

Some of you may remember me mentioning my cousin, Nikki. Once upon a time, she wrote a YA book and I went all "Um, I write YA books too!" and so we started dreaming about how we would be bestsellers together and buy matching castles in New Zealand, as bestselling authors do. But then she went and did something that puts her on the Brave List for Life -- she moved to South Korea to teach kindergarten. Fast forward a few years to now, when she is back in the states but still doing Crazy Brave Things.

Nikki is, as of this August, beginning a teaching job at a middle school in San Francisco. This school is excellent for a number of reasons, but one area that is not so fantastic is Nikki must furnish her classroom's library on her own. When she told me this and expressed concern on how she would make sure her kids had access to enough amazing books to quench their reading needs, I went all "Um, but I have friends who have fantastic books!"

Hence the Really Big Really Amazing Really Incredible Act of Kindness: filling Nikki's classroom with books. As part of such a ridiculously supportive and all-around breathtaking community of writing professionals, I know we won't stand for Nikki's classroom being empty of books come time for school to start. So this is what I am asking:

Steps for The Nice List Book Donation:

1) Go through all your old books and select a few that you think a classroom of 8th graders would enjoy and/or benefit from (sorry, but all your copies of 50 Shades of Grey will have to remain yours). Or even new books, if you are feeling particularly generous.
2) Email me at seesarawrite@gmail.com and I will send you the address to which you can send your books.
3) Send said books to said address before school starts, ie by August 31.

Three simple steps separate you from a 100% guaranteed spot on the Nice List before Christmas. If it seems too good to be true -- well, it's about to get better.

Because everyone who donates books to sad, empty classrooms is deserving of fantastic things themselves, there are, of course, more tangible rewards for participating in The Nice List Book Donation (though I'm sure I won most of you over with my 100% guaranteed spot on the Nice List before Christmas).

If you donate one book to Nikki's classroom, you get your choice of a query critique from Yours Truly OR a special amazing early Christmas present.
If you donate two books to Nikki's classroom, you get your choice of a query critique and a synopsis critique from Yours Truly OR a special amazing early Christmas present.
If you donate three+ books to Nikki's classroom, you get your choice of a query critique, a synopsis critique, and a first-fifty-pages-of-your-manuscript critique from Yours Truly OR a special amazing early Christmas present.

EVERYONE WHO DONATES WINS. No drawings or selections. Instant WIN. Yes, that just happened.

The donation starts -- NOW! *fires race gun*

IMPOSTOR Giveaway!

A few months ago Jill Hathaway's SLIDE came out. And the peasants rejoiced.

Now the peasants can rejoice still further because as of next year, the sequel to SLIDE will be sliding into shelves (see what I did there? SLIDE. Sliding. You get me). IMPOSTOR is due to release March 26, 2013, and because she knows what we want, Jill is holding a massive giveaway for ARCs on her blog!

There's a crazy amount of different ways to win that don't involve anything quite as terrifying as having a killer take over your body. So slide (see? I did it again!) on over there for a chance to be among the first readers of IMPOSTOR. You know you want to.

IMPOSTOR:

What if a killer took control of you?

Vee Bell’s gift (or curse) of “sliding”—slipping into the mind of another person and experiencing life, briefly, through his or her eyes—has been somewhat under control since she unwillingly witnessed the horrific deaths of her classmates six months ago.

But just as things are getting back to normal, Vee has a very bizarre experience: she loses consciousness and finds herself in a deserted area, at the edge of a cliff, with the broken body of the boy who took advantage of her on the rocks below.

As Vee finds herself in stranger and stranger situations with no memory of getting there, she begins to suspect that someone she knows has the ability to slide—and that this “slider” is using Vee to exact revenge on his or her enemies.

*snort*

For more chuckle-worthy Thursday bits, go here.