I went hunting today.
Being quite the seasoned hunter, I knew how to find my prey. I researched its whereabouts and pinpointed its exact location and towed The Boyfriend along, you know, in case things got hairy. We fought off vicious leashed beasties and their heartless jogging masters. We resisted the temptations of the ever-so-seductive aromas that wafted from the cave of the Panda Express. We trekked over rivers, over fields of grass, across vast black tar wastelands. Until, at long last, we stood just feet from where my prey had made its home.
Such a dangerous prey required extreme stealth and caution in the final approach. Quiet like ninjas, The Boyfriend and I crept into my prey's lair, our senses all a-tingle. And there, right before our very eyes, sat a sight too fantastic to behold:
SLIDE. IN THE WILD.
And how did it get up there?? Yet one of the many mysteries surrounding this exceptionally valuable prize.
The Boyfriend and I quickly bagged my prey and retreated from the lair with all haste, lest other similar preys begin to tempt our fragile hunter psyches.
(No, that wasn't at all fun to write. *dons safari hat and speeds off in a mud-caked safari jeep*)