Thoughts for The Universe

1) It's my birthday this Friday.

2) I feel the need to remind The Universe of a certain deal-io I made a few months back.

3) It's rude to keep people waiting when they make deals, isn't it?

4) I'd expect The Universe to have THE BEST etiquette in the world. Being, you know, the very essence that created good etiquette.

All of these things lead to only one rational conclusion, don't they? Now, I'm not about to go telling The Universe what to do, but...a nudge. We'll call it a nudge.

*nudges Universe*

WORLD DOMINATION

JR Johansson is taking over the WORLD, people.

Remember that post I did about why Germany is awesome? Well, read it again, but instead of "Germany" substitute "Italy."

Yep.

INSOMNIA just sold in ITALY. So not only will Parker (Insomnia's snarky and dark MC) get to feast on brats and pretzels, he'll also get Gelato and pasta and sexy Italian men. Or, well, Parker probably won't want sexy Italian men. I'll leave the sexy Italian men-getting to JR. As long as she gets plenty to share. And if she mixes up sexy Italian men with Gelato I'll be okay with that too.

YAY, Europe! They clearly know what is awesome. Not that I doubted Europe. I mean, c'mon. Europe.

WHO ARE YOU?

I tweeted for help with this, but I'm going to blog it too. Because that's how much I need help.

*tries to think of something snappy to lead into the problem*

*no cookies in the house*

*can't think of anything snappy*

I'M TERRIBLE WITH CHARACTER ARCS.

There. I said it.

No matter how much I research and/or tweak and/or re-read and/or revise, my character arcs are always the last thing, the very very very last thing, to come into being. Ordinarily, having one thing that always must be done last isn't a bad thing -- but this one is. Because of the sheer amount of time that is wasted while wrestling with those bleep bleeping arcs.

In my head, there are certain detailed character arcs through a book:


1) Introduction of the Character (usually the first few chapters of a book)

2) First Emotionally Distressing Event (wherein the character encounters what should be the first event in which you see a change in his/her normally delightful persona)

3) Character Leveling (wherein the character regains composure and implements his/her new slight emotional depth into his/her normally delightful persona)

(2 and 3 can repeat a few tiny times)

4) Second Emotionally Distressing Event (in or near the climax of the book wherein the character encounters The Event that the whole book has been working toward and should, in theory, change the character for the better. Or the worse, if you're into that kind of thing)

5) Character Release (wherein the character accepts all the changes that have happened -- whether or not he/she consciously makes that decision -- and becomes the ultimate and well-rounded person we come to know and love)


Easy, right? Once you see laid out all pretty?

Wrong-o.

For whatever reason, I cannot get my characters from 1 to 3 in a smooth, believable arc. My character arcs are more Character Death Roller Coasters of Doom. And then they get nauseous and I get nauseous and everyone gets nauseous.

So my questions are: how do you get from 1 to 3 and 3 to 5 without making everyone involved in the process nauseous from all the jumping about? How soon is too soon for a character to accept his/her Character Leveling? What are your tricks for smoothly inserting a new, more fully-formed persona into your character by the end of the book?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get my characters some Pepto. Why they continue to put up with me, I'll never know.

Yay, Flutterbies! Butterflies! And all things that utter

I went on a writing retreat recently and had the pleasure of (re)meeting Michelle Davidson Argyle. She takes (awe-inducing) photographs and writes about Monarch butterflies and spies and murder. If that isn't a weird enough combination to get you to go "Hm...", then I don't know what is.

As I have become accustomed lately to doing blog posts regarding the exciting news of friends, I am deeply excited to show you this:

Michelle's book, Monarch, will be sitting cozily on bookshelves everywhere starting September 15th. And, like any good soon-to-be-released author, Michelle has all kinds of fantastic giveaway goodies on her blog.

She also has links to all of the blogs she'll be a-hopping to during her blog tour. And let me tell ya, girl knows how to TOUR. She ain't taking no prisoners. And neither should you. Unless that prisoner is Monarch. Then take it and read it and be merry.

Why Germany is Awesome: A Tale by Sara Raasch

Once upon a time, I met a girl named Jenn. Her crit group was looking for another member and me, well, I was looking for a crit group. Destiny.

Jenn was funny. And clever. And had the most amazing red hair that made me want to find a rock and spring up on it while singing the climatic part of Little Mermaid's "Part of Your World."

She wrote a book. A book about a boy who couldn't sleep. And a lot of other really terrifying things. But the point is it was terrifying YA horror stuff, and guess who loves terrifying YA horror stuff?

This place.

(Germany)

And one day she got word that the Germans loved her book about a boy who couldn't sleep so very very much that they bought it. And hugged it. And stroked it a bit.

That buying and hugging and stroking looked like this:

Germany rights to INSOMNIA by J.R. Johansson, a debut YA supernatural/psychological thriller, about a teen boy who thought spending every night trapped in other people's dreams was bad, but discovers that losing control of his own body and mind is so much worse, sold to Heyne Flieght in a TWO-BOOK deal at auction by Agence Hoffman, on behalf of Taryn Fagerness Agency and Kathleen Rushall of Marsal Lyon Literary Agency.

And they all lived happily ever after. Because it's FREAKIN GERMANY, people. I mean, they INVENTED FAIRY TALES, so good endings have to happen there.

The moral of the story: JENN SOLD HER BOOK TO FREAKIN GERMANY.

Go tell her congrats. And how much better her story is than this wee tale.