It's Official

The contents of my Walmart shopping cart:

Tissues
Soap container
Hair color
3 Strawberry-Kiwi Vitamin Waters
3 Black Cherry Lime Vitamin Waters
3 Orange-Orange Vitamin Waters
1 Grape-Blueberry Vitamin Water
1 Raspberry-Apple Vitamin Water
1 Berry-Berry Vitamin Water
12 Nestle Water Bottles

Register: *beep* *beep* *beep*

Cashier: 12 Nestle Water Bottles?

Me: *digs out money*

Cashier: 12 Vitamin Waters?

Me: *digs faster*

Cashier: *pause* Thirsty?

Me: THEY WERE A DOLLAR EACH. I'M A WRITER.

Cashier: *stunned*

Me: *grabs Vitamin Waters*

Cashier: Writing dehydrates you?

Me: Yes. No. I MUST BUY THINGS.

Cashier: Okay. Thanks for shopping with us.

Me: Hey, at least it's healthier than chocolate. DON'T JUDGE ME.

Cashier: I wasn't--

Me: VITAMIN WATER -- Nothing unhealthy about any of that. Do you hear that, writing gods? YOUR WRITING-IMPOSED CONSUMPTION ADDICTIONS CANNOT TOUCH ME! I WIN!

Cashier: Who are you talking to--

Me: VICTORY! Vitamin Water Victory!

Cashier: Leave. Now.

Me: *skips away, or skips as much as possible under the weight of 12 Vitamin Waters and 12 Nestle Bottled Waters*

You know you're writing again when the addictions take hold.

I have to pee.