The contents of my Walmart shopping cart:
Tissues
Soap container
Hair color
3 Strawberry-Kiwi Vitamin Waters
3 Black Cherry Lime Vitamin Waters
3 Orange-Orange Vitamin Waters
1 Grape-Blueberry Vitamin Water
1 Raspberry-Apple Vitamin Water
1 Berry-Berry Vitamin Water
12 Nestle Water Bottles
Register: *beep* *beep* *beep*
Cashier: 12 Nestle Water Bottles?
Me: *digs out money*
Cashier: 12 Vitamin Waters?
Me: *digs faster*
Cashier: *pause* Thirsty?
Me: THEY WERE A DOLLAR EACH. I'M A WRITER.
Cashier: *stunned*
Me: *grabs Vitamin Waters*
Cashier: Writing dehydrates you?
Me: Yes. No. I MUST BUY THINGS.
Cashier: Okay. Thanks for shopping with us.
Me: Hey, at least it's healthier than chocolate. DON'T JUDGE ME.
Cashier: I wasn't--
Me: VITAMIN WATER -- Nothing unhealthy about any of that. Do you hear that, writing gods? YOUR WRITING-IMPOSED CONSUMPTION ADDICTIONS CANNOT TOUCH ME! I WIN!
Cashier: Who are you talking to--
Me: VICTORY! Vitamin Water Victory!
Cashier: Leave. Now.
Me: *skips away, or skips as much as possible under the weight of 12 Vitamin Waters and 12 Nestle Bottled Waters*
You know you're writing again when the addictions take hold.
I have to pee.
13 comments:
I'm smiling. That is all.
I'm rolling off my chair and laughing my ass off. *hugs*
Writers aren't crazy.
Not at all.
:D
oh so love this and so share your love of Vitamin Water!
Visit My Kingdom Anytime
Your posts always make me smile. Oftentimes, even laugh out loud. So funny!
LOL!
My addiction is often ice cream related. Which is why there's a new pint of dutch chocolate ice cream in the freezer...
This is a really funny post; thanks for making me laugh. I must admit, though, that my addiction is peanut M&Ms, and I do feel like the cashier is silently judging me when I buy them.
Nice :-)
Wow.
I don't know if anyone alive can understand just how much I wish I'd been there to see that play out.
Gotta love the vitamin water during the writing.
I thought Nestle just sold candy bars? Is their water chocolate flavored or something?
Is it bad that I feel left out that I don't have a writing addiction? Besides checking Texts From Last Night when I want to procrastinate and I've already read Postsecret...
PS, uz haz an award over me place. (not sure why I felt compelled to 'speak' like this)
Your posts always make me smile
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