Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Charging
Today begins the first day of yet another quarter here at mi universidad (I'm taking German now...maybe I should stop throwing Spanish into random sentences? Nah. Now it'll be random Spanish AND German. Muahahaha). And while just last night I was "excited" to get back to the grind of doing things, today I remembered what summer had un-taught me: my horrid dislike of large groups of people.
I don't know if it's a writerly trait or just a randomly assigned trait, but I am the world's biggest introvert. No joke. Right now I am hauled up in a corner of the building my next class is in, reveling in the silence, yet FREAKING OUT that I will, in one hour, be subjected to yet another large group of people. I've only had one class today, and already: exhausted.
I have an anti-stress enriched smoothie. Not helping. I have my laptop to focus my attention on other things. Lessening the blow, but not helping. What's a girl to do besides run into the nearest bathroom stall (hopefully a "Women" stall) and stifle the oncoming panic attack by calling the first number in my phone and crying at the sound of a familiar voice?
(No, I don't do that. Often.)
Stress is a part of all areas of life. Especially writing (need I mention agents, querying, editors, outlines, etc etc?). So, question of the day: what do you do when life seems to press in around you?
I shall leave you to your answers while I go find my next classroom and sit outside the door, counting how many people go into the classroom before me. Gulp.
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12 comments:
Don't worry! Things will get better!
And if it doesn't, you could always come to my school. It's pretty small :)
I had this problem of skipping classes when I was late. I hated all the glances. I mean, most likely they were just looking at what their peripheral vision picked up, but combined with my lateness problem I skipped more classes than I should have :) I would then hop on down to the computer lab and troll world of warcraft forums, hoping that I didn't miss to much (the CS teachers just told stories anyway, only about 5% of the information they conveyed was useful).
Nick! No wonder you failed so much! I'm going to smack you when you get home!
That said, I so get those nerves. I always struggled with that in school and even in large public places like malls or amusement parks.
What I do is try to go when there are less people. And if that's not an option, I get there first. Then I can find a corner and get used to all the people as they trickle in.
And feel free to call me if you need. I'm very rarely busy. (I'm totally serious about that.)
Hmmm, now you have me wondering if the whole introvert-not-a-fan-of-groups-of-people thing is a writerly trait.
I think to a degree writers tend to shy away from the masses. They spend so much time in their own heads, and why go out in public when you can create all the imaginary friends you want?
Psh, real people...
Good luck with school!
I'm totally the same way about big crowds. I try to avoid it when I can't, but you obviously know that's hard to do. I've learned to just be myself and to realize that not everyone is staring at me as much as I think they are. It's okay to just quietly slip into a crowd and relax. Hang in there!
Thanks for all the support, everyone :) I survived the first day, and am now safely tucked away from all beings of the human sort. Except family, but, you know, they're relatively harmless.
And Kat: "I think to a degree writers tend to shy away from the masses. They spend so much time in their own heads, and why go out in public when you can create all the imaginary friends you want?"
Totally. 'nuff said.
PS: Natalie, I just might take you up on your offer...I was totally serious about the "familiar voice" thing too. Sometimes it just helps.
Do it! I never get to talk to you anymore!
Sara - I can't believe you're so introverted! You always strike me as so outgoing. Glad you made it through the day ok.
L&L -- Haha, glad to know I had someone fooled ;) If I talked like I wrote, it'd be a different story altogether. There's such a disconnect between writing and talking though...hm, I feel another blog post coming on...
Sara, most everything feels overwhelming in the beginning. You haven't gotten your groove on yet, so to speak.
Yoga is my go to thing when I'm stressed.
Aww, college. I loved it. :) That said, the first day is definitely overload. Hope you get adjusted soon.
As for introverted writers, I agree that most are. I'm actually extroverted, but I'm shy in a new setting, no doubt.
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